If you look at the questions and answers above, you’ll notice that it’s common to think of depression as something “inside” yourself. You may think depression is something biological, like a chemical imbalance, or something psychological, like poor self-esteem or negative thoughts or beliefs. Either way, when people become depressed, it is typically themselves they look at first. Often, what they see looks pretty dim. This isn’t too surprising because, of course, when you’re depressed you tend to see the bad rather than the good. Our belief is that depression does not live inside a person, no matter how much it feels that way. Depression is a problem between you and your life, rather than a problem inside of you. Unfortunately, when you become depressed, it can be very hard to focus on anything except what’s wrong inside. Consider the following conversation Randall had with a friend, Sarah, several weeks after moving across the country:
| Sarah: Wow, you’ve got a lot going on. It sounds stressful. |
| Randall: Yes I do. But it’s all positive stuff. New job, new family, new place to live.I’ve been working toward this for a long time. Why can’t I enjoy it and relax like everyone else seems to be able to? |
| Sarah: I doubt everyone else is as happy in situations like this as you think. |
| Randall: That’s probably true, but it still feels wrong. |
| Sarah: Well, you’ve been through a lot of changes. What do you do with yourself when you feel so down? |
| Randall: I mostly sit in my office and try to figure out why I’m feeling this way. I’m a psychologist. I should be able to figure it out. |
| Sarah: Does it help to think a lot about why you’re depressed? |
Sarah made two crucial points in this conversation. First, she pointed out that there are reasons why Randall would be feeling depressed. He left his home, started a new challenging job, moved with his wife across the country where they knew no one, and so on. Second, Sarah focused on how Randall was responding to feeling depressed and how it was working for him. Were Randall’s attempts to cope with depression helping or making the situation worse?
Ending Depression: The Steps You Need to Take
Here is a preview of the steps to ending depression that this website will cover. Step 1. Understand how depression works, particularly the links between what you do, where you do it, how you do it, and how it makes you feel. Step 2. Identify particular areas of life where the way you’re responding to depression isn’t helping and learn how to change the response. Step 3. Learn to approach difficult situations rather than avoid them. Step 4. Begin to address larger life issues that may put you at risk for developing another episode of depression.
